I am
Hannah Nicole
poet/teacher/life enthusiast
5/2/2017 0 Comments did you make it?on the night you left,
i sat idle on my bed. no one was awake but me. the lamp was on, the record was playing. all i could hear was my breath, all i could think of was you. i looked out the window at the pitch black sky. little did i know that i was looking for you. i was looking for a shooting star so i would know that you arrived safely. i could see you dance across the moon and find your place securely among the stars. and even though heaven’s holding you close, i just wish you didn’t leave me down here alone. the silence is unbearable.
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4/28/2017 0 Comments somebody's angelI wish i could hear
you voice right now, telling me that somehow everything would be okay because the nights are so hard right now, christina. i wish i could watch you chase your dream. i wish i could gleam with pride when you won your first grammy. there are so many things that i was selfishly looking forward to, but now i have to stare at your grave, a life so unfinished. I wish that you were here on this earth with me because you deserve to be here. you should be making music, you should be singing, you should be laughing, you should be alive. but you’re somebody’s angel now, And, even though it’s hard, i know you’re where you are meant to be. 23 years ago, you learned to walk, nearly a year ago, you learned to fly. 4/26/2017 0 Comments now that you're gone“if only you were still in his arms, he'd never let you go again. I doubt he’d ever go to sleep without hearing your voice telling him that it’s okay for him to close his eyes and that you’ll still be there when he wakes up. Now that you’re gone, I wonder if he still cries when he thinks of you. I wonder if he hums your songs when he’s alone. I wonder if he reads through your old text messages and laughs at your stupid jokes. Now that you’re gone, I wonder if he’s ever written songs for you. I wonder if he still talks about you to his friends. I wonder if he sees your face in his daughter’s. Now that you’re gone, I wonder if he still cries when he’s alone. I wonder if he imagines he’s holding you when he holds his little girl. I wonder if you’re still on his mind. I wonder if he’s the one to bring you up in a conversation, or if he’s the one to change the subject. I wonder how hard it is to talk about you. Sometimes I wonder If he lashes out because of anger, If he cowers in guilt, Or if he smiles at your memory. I wonder what he did when he heard the news. Did he sit alone, shaking, unable to say a word? Did he run to his wife and cry on her shoulder? Did he call his friends and beg them to tell him that it wasn’t true? Now that you’re gone, I know that he misses you. I know that he fights back tears when he hears your name. I know that he has tried to move on, but part of you will always be with him. I know that you took a piece of him when you left. I wonder how hard it was for him to say goodbye, to pretend he was okay. I wonder the same about you. I wonder if his voice still cracks when he sees pictures of you. I wonder if his eyes burn when he hears your voice. I know mine do. “ 4/18/2017 0 Comments worthlessworthless
is how you made her feel. you never told her that she wasn’t enough but you didn’t have to. powerless is what she was when she was with you. you had her wrapped around your finger like your favorite jewelry. but that’s all she was to you, right? an accessory. alone is how she felt when in your presence. you never told her how beautiful kind or smart she was. you just grabbed her hand and led her through the motions silent is how you prefered her, but she was born with a sharp tongue and a fire in her soul that could not be ignored and no matter how hard you tried, she would not be silenced. empowered was how she felt once you were gone. she could finally have a mind of her own. free is how she feels today now that you aren’t around to hold her down. she is free. 4/15/2017 0 Comments bricksHer fists slammed against the wall.
There were holes in it now From all the moments that had led to this. She watched as your hands reached for hers. You begged her, Pleaded for one more chance. She was strong Yet her words still fell silent at your feet. She laid her heart out on the line for you. She put herself in your hands. She trusted you. She held your hand, She laughed at your jokes, She gracefully thanked you when you held the door. She calmed your storms, She listened to your fears, She was there. You were selfish You were harsh You were brutal you had masked yourself well For had she known, she wouldn’t have given you a second look. You were charming, With your goofy smile and your infectious laugh She was drawn in She hung off your every word. She fell for you And that was her biggest mistake. She felt full when she was with you. You gave her new life. When she laughed with you, she was genuine. When she smiled with you, she meant it. She meant all of it Up until the moment she didn’t. You took a part of her. You tore her apart. You left her broken. She wore her heart on her sleeve with you, But when you decided you had enough, You ripped it from it’s stitching, And watched as she tried to sew it back together. She thought she loved you, But it turned out, that you were just another brick in her wall. |
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